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Popular Jokes

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COFFEE BOY --- Why was the coffee boy not in today.........cause he got mugged
NOSE!!!!!!!!!!!! --- how does micheal jackson pick his nose? in a catalog
I NEED A MAP --- your mumma is so fat, i ran around her twice and got lost
A CORNY JOKE!!! --- A MAN SAYS TO HIS WIFE, "I HEARD A CORNY JOKE LAST NIGHT!" THE WIFE ASKS, "HOW CORNY WAS IT?" ...
THREEWHORES IN A BAR --- There are three whores in a bar, and their arguing on whos pussy is looser. The first one declares hers is, ...
USED FOR ANY DEAD MUSICIAN --- Only Brits or soccer fans will get this Whats the difference between ( can use any dead musician, eg, ...
ALOT OF THEM AGE JOKES --- your mom is so old she still has jesus?s pager number your mom is so old she gets her jokes from the bib...
ONLY TWO... --- There?s only two ugly people I know in this world, and your both of them.
PROBLEM? --- Three men are sentenced to die by guillotine. The first man steps up, places his head in the hole, the executioner releas...
THE PICTURE --- After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, >>pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched f...
CREAM FILLING --- One day a little kid decides to go exploring, so he goes upstairs into his brothers room and starts looking around. ...
RULES FOR YANKES ENTERING TEXAS --- Rules for Yankes to Know If You Plan to Enter Texas Applies to each person as they enter Texas. ...
REDNECK DICTIONARY --- asskot = man my asskot tired liften fir wood the other day boykot = man that boy kot tired liften that fire wo...
BLACK --- Q why are black people and apples look good together A they both look good hanging together
SPAGHETTI --- Q.What does spaghetti and pussy both have in common? A. They both wiggle when u eat them
MAN U SO UGLY --- man your so ugly when you look out of the window you get arrested for mooning
BUS --- Your mama is so fat she got hit by a bus and said stop pushin
UGLY FACE --- You so ugly that?s not a recieding hairline it?s ur hair running away from ur face.
STILL ON A BITCH! --- Your so fat that after you had sex 2 times you was still on the bitch.
JEWELS --- oh man, i remember playing on the teetor totter, going up and down and up and down until some jack ass jumps of at the last...
F.O.R.D --- ford stands for fix oe repiar daily hahaha!!!
SHRIMP --- A caretaker and his friend are taking care of a dead fat womans body. The caretaker says he is going to go get some food d...
TAKING THE FRIENDSHIP TOO FAR --- Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren?t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the mid...
LONELY WIFE --- A salesman husband feels bad leaving his wife alone for days at a time. She is always horny when he returns home, so ...
TWODEAD STONERS --- note: if you laugh your head off sew it back on. You might have to be stoned to laugh One bright day in the middl...
HITAPOTAMOSA --- your mum is so fat that when she was walking down the street evryboady said hey hitapotamoas
GET A HAIR CUT --- Why did Trot Nixon hit Jonny Damon with a bat? Cause that?s how cavemen say hi.
WHY IS MICHEAL IN THE HOSPITAL? --- Q: Why did michael jackson have to go to the emergency room? A: He was choking on a little bone
ROLLACOSTER MUM --- Ure mum is like a broken rollocoster she goes up and down and never stops
SLIPPED OVER --- A man walked into a bar and immediately slipped over on a dog turd. He cleaned himself up and took his place on a sto...
YOUR MOMMA... --- your mamma?s so fat she has more rolls then a doughnut shop!!
BALD GUYS --- Can Bald guys get Hairline Fracture?s?
WHO IS IT? --- Two blondes are in a car. The one driving looks in the mirror and tells her friend, "Look, Betty. That?s me!" Betty tak...
VIAGARA --- Why did the Japanese sell all their Viagara to Florida?Ans. They couldn?t get an honest election.
TRAIN --- there were three blondes walking in the woods and they come across some tracks Blonde number 1 sadi: i think there deer tra...
I DONT WANT TO GO --- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" T...
TWINKIE --- Your Mama is so fat, a school bus drove by and she said catch that twinkie!
LENNY --- Knock Knock Who?s there? Lenny! Lenny who? Lenny in, I?m hungry!
WHAT DID THE WOMAN SAY+ --- what did the women say to micheal jackson at the beach? "get out of my son"
MJ AND RACING --- Why can?t Michael Jackson ever finish a race? ...He always "cums" in a little behind
MONKEY AND THE TIGER --- One day monkey and tiger were argueing about who wants to fuck who first. Monkey was saying" let me fuck you ...
MOORE AND BUSH --- Q: What?s the difference between Micheal Moore and George Bush? A: 250 Pounds!
THE BLONDE COFFIN --- Why was the blonde?s coffin in a y shape? Because her legs automatically spread when she lays on her back.
BOSTON SUCKS --- what do you call 25 guys watching the world series together? THE BOSTON RED SOX
STONER JOKES --- Q-What do you call a stoner in a fire place? A-Baked. Q-How many stoners can ride a bike without falling? A-Almost 1...
HELICOPTER CRASH --- did you hear about the polish helicpoter crash pilot got cold turned the fan off
PILSBURY --- your mother so fat that she look like the pilsbury doe boy sister. i bet if you poke her stomach she?ll start laughing an...
SIGNS YOUR COW HAS --- Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne....
UP BEFORE A JUDGE --- Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are up before a Judge " Not you 3 AGAIN!!! " The Judge remarks, " I tell y...
DAHMER --- Q. What did Jeffery Dahmer ask Mike Tyson when he bit Holyfeild?s ear off? A. Gonna eat that?
SWIMMING --- okay... there is a blonde a red head and a brunette there all takin swimming lessons.... and the life guard tells them to...
FUNNY ASS JOKES --- Q. Why don?t polish women use vibrators? A. It chips their teeth. Q: Why did the Polak cross the road? A: He coul...
BLONDE AT AIRPORT --- A blonde was driving to an airport and saw a sign that said airport left. The blonde turned around and said, "O...
OPOSSUMS --- What do the Red Sox and the opossums have in comon? They play dead at home and get kill on the road.
THEIFS --- If you go and steal something from the dollar tree, you might be a redneck. If you were refered to in the 7th grade as a "...
HILLARIOUS JOKE --- how do you tell if a chick is to fat to fuck ..................when you pull her pants down her ass is still in t...
JAK HEALY RULES --- YO MOMAS SO DUMB, SHE TRIED TO WAKE-UP A SLEEPING BAG
ORIGIN OF INDIAN(NATIVE AMERICAN) NAMES --- Little indian boy and father: Boy: Father why do our people name their children like they...
SURFINSWEETY090 --- ~Question~ Why is Michael Jackson like a Playstation ~Answer~ lil boys turn them on Boy: Mom , is god whi...
FARMERS TRACTOR --- what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my fuckin tractor!!
STUPID JOKE> --- -What is the differents between the owl?? -The difference is: they?ve got one leg shorter, and the other the same
INVISIBLE --- What?s invisible and smells like carrots? bunny farts
BURGLARY --- A 85YR OLD WOMAN ( WHO AT ONE STAGE WAS BLONDE) IS SITTING ALONE IN HER FLAT WATCHING HER SOAPPYS. SHE?S BEEN WIDOWED FOR...
PLANET --- Science Teacher: What is the biggest gas giant? Student: Uranus
WILD ANIMALS --- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? ELEPHINO!!!
MARIYA --- 1). Your mamma is so damn fat when she goes too the cinema she gets to sit next too everybody.
BEST BLOND JOKES --- 1. what did the blonds left leg say to the right leg? between us we can make alot of money 2. what did the bl...
A PRIEST WALKS INTO A BAR --- a pedofile, a child molester, and a priest walk into a bar... and that was just the first guy!
TISSUE --- how do make a tissue dance? you put a little boogey in it.
THE CUPKAKE DEATH --- dont have fat freinds my dad died tring getting to get a cupkake at of his mouth
REDNECK IDEAL VACATION --- you might be a redneck if your ideal of a romantic evening with your wife is sitting at home eating hormel ...
ORANGE JUICE --- you might be a red neck if u stare at the orange juice carton for 20 minutes just because it says consentrate
MONKEY&RAT --- Monkeys and girls both are same. they fight only for Banana, Boys and rats are same they search only holes.
ONE FAT AMERICAN WOMAN --- One fat stupid American woman comes to the doctor and on her head there is a frog. And doctor asks: - What...
GOOD JOCKEY --- Why Would Michael Jackson make a good jockey? Because he breaks in 13 year olds.
THE DUMBASS BLONDE --- what couldnt the blonde rob the bank cause she thought she needed an account
SWEAT --- Your momma?s so fat when she sweats it comes out in chunks.
BLONDE IN A CUPBOARD --- What do you call a dead blonde in a cupboard? 1999 hide and seek champion!
AN AMISH JOKE --- A mother and child are amish. They are traveling when the daughter says "momma my hands are cold." so the mother res...
PSYCHIC! --- One night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Uncle Bill died. He woke up and that evening, his dad got a call sa...
SIX FOOT A** HOLE ( ADULTS) --- a guy is speeding down the highway, he sees a cop on a bridge with a radar gun so he slows down . sur...
HORSE FOOD --- Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat? A: Thoroughbred
WIERD --- what does a blonde and a screen door have in common? the more you bang them the looser they get
NEWLYWED JOKE --- A young couple got married, and on their first night in their new home, the husband said, "Sweetheart, we should set...
WERE LEAVING --- Two blondes decide to go downtown to a local bar for a couple drinks after work. Nearing the entrance,they notice a m...
RAPPER --- question: wot dus eminem wear whilst on tour answer: a wrappa lol if u dare give me bad comments i wiv get u hahaha!!!!!...
UR MOM YELLS FOR ICE CREAM! --- ur moms like an ice cream on a hot summer day in 5 minutes thers white stuff all over
CONCESSION ............... --- When John Kerry called president Bush to concede the election, he did ask that as a provision of the co...
MIS-HEARING GENIE --- One day, two friends are playing golf, when one of them starts a cigar, he realises he doesn?t have a lighter an...
LION KING --- yo mama is so fat, when she tried out for lion kind on broadway, she got pride rock.
MAKE IT LAUGH --- A guy goes into a bar looking for a job. Instead he finds a sign on the counter saying "Give 500 dollars if u can m...
DID YOU EVER WONDER...... --- ... why the Yankees are paying me $82 million dollars, when I can?t hit, run, or field? The answer is s...
LITTLE BOY WANTS TO BE A FIREMAN... --- There is a young boy about the age of six sitting in the front yard playing, when all of a sud...
WHAT IS ONE WAY TO PISS RON ARTEST --- Qwhat is one way to piss ron artest A:throw a cup at him
THE GIRL AND THE RETART --- one day a girls car broke down in a dead end road and there were three houses there so she went to one hou...
HORNY OLD LADIES --- Two eldenly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. one old lady turns to the other and ask do you ...
A WOMAN IS LIKE AN EGG --- A woman is like an egg first you warm and ready the bed like the frying pan. Then you crack her over the ...
FREE WILLIES --- Yo mammas so thick she sent hate mail on valentines day (I don?t think this is funny, but I put it anyway.) Yo mammas...
NOW WHO?S IGNORANT? --- I?m Polish I live in Krak?w. One day I met American tourists who were sightseeing Europe. Krak?w was one of th...
YOUR SOO FAT --- your soo fat your logo is we are family burger king, mcDonalds, and me!!!!!!!!!!!
W.I.F.E. --- Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG." Another guy says, "What?s that? ...
ASHTON --- The other morning I woke up to the ugliest girl you have ever seen. I started looking for Ashton because I thought I WAS BE...
YOU KNOW YOUR ITALIAN... --- You know your Italian because... If someone in your family grows beyond 5?9?? it is presumed that their m...
GLITTER --- gary glitter returns home to find his girlfriend packing. "i?m leavin, i just found out you are a paedophile!...." Woooooo...
SONG DE HELLEN KELLER --- okay this is to the tune of yankee doodle went to town helen keller went to town a riding on a ponie... stu...
DESERT LADIES --- A burnette, blonde and redhead went on a vacation to the desert...they each got to bring one thing the burnette bra...
THE GOLF GAME --- A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are playing a round of golf, and are getting really angry at the threesome in fron...
LETTER TO GOD --- A little boy wanted $100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a lette...
FILLING --- There was this guy who was about to go on a date so he took his last condum out but the wind had blown it out the window. ...
UR MUM!!!!! --- Ur MuMs So FaT ShEs GoT MoRe ChInS ThAn A ChInEsE PhOnE BoOk!!!!
FEELING SHEEPISH --- A guy walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm, his wife is lying in bed reading. The guy says, "This i...
EWWWWWW --- ur moms teeth r so yellow wen she opens her mouth cars start to slow down
MUSICALS AND AUBURN --- Q. what do bad musicals and auburn have in common? A. Their both worse than "oklahoma"
REDNECK RACING --- YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU THINK THE LAST WORDS OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM ARE "GENTALMEN START YOUR ENGINES"!!!
MOVING MAMA --- yo mom is so poor that when i saw her walking down the street kicking a can i asked her wat she was doing and she said...
CHAINSAW CAKE-CUTTER --- If you cut your birthday cake with a chainsaw.... you might be a red neck
FREEDOM RINGS --- What is the one thing that the people trashing the troops and the president fail to recognize as the most important ...
TIME OF THE MONTH --- Why do women get pms? They fuckin deserve it
STEAK NECK --- You?re so ugly, when you were a kid, I had to tie a steak around your neck so the dog would play with you
TRUCK STOPPER --- A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights ...
DOWN THE MINE --- Paddy and Murphy are working down a coal mine,Paddy lights up a cigarette and causes a big explosion. ?Oh God I?ve l...
FBI --- "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I?m calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana ...
BETTA F.O.R.D --- F = Fucked O= On R = Race D = Day please post comments as this is my first joke onto ur site
TOP REASONS TO DATE A CONTORTIONIST --- top reasons to date a contortionist 1. we are unbelievably flexible 2.we can perform in pract...
COWBOY AND INDIAN --- While riding one day a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and began a conversation. Cowb...
MEN JOKES --- Q: What do you call a man with half a brain? A: Gifted Q: Whats the thinnest book in the world? A: What men know abo...
TIMMY --- Timmy is sitting in front of the TV watching superman. After it finishes he runs with all of a childs enthusiasm to his moth...
ALIEN JOKE --- theres this alien in a bar and he pokes the bar tender and he says dont do that so he pokes him again and says ...
TICKETS --- There was this couple who were going on a cruise for treir honeymoon suddenly the wife said to the husband, dear have you ...
WOT?S WORSE --- Q:Wot?s worse than being a retard A:Being Black
HUNDRED% --- What do 90% of americans say before they wreck? OH SHIT! OK Now what do the other 10% say.................................
TWOBLONDS AND A COMPACT --- So two Blonds are walking down the street, and one pulls out her compact(portable mirror) . She says " I?v...
I KNEW A BLONDE... --- I knew a blonde that was so stupid that She called me to get my phone number. She spent 20 minutes looking at ...
GENDER ID --- How do you tell apart a blonde female from a blonde male?. Answer. A blonde female has a higher sperm count
BIRDS FLU --- Got some bad news.....I?ve caught that bird flu, i know it?s bird flu because i?ve started talking bollocks, wearing mak...
LENA HAD DIED. --- (Ole and Lena - actually, Norwegian) Lena died. Ya, she was at a party....eating Rocky Mountain Oysters...and the...
ROBBERY... --- You so stupid,you robbed a bank with a plastic bag and fainted cause forgot to cut the holes.
BATTERED WIFE --- Whats the first thing a battered wife does when she gets home from the hospital? ...
OLD ASS MOMMA --- Yo? momma is so old...she knew mr. clean when he had an afro!
MED SCHOOL --- First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gather...
BIG OLD MOMMA --- 1. yo momma so fat that she weighed so much she sunk into the middle of the earth due to the magnetic poles!. 2. Yo...
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO NASTY --- Ur Momma is sooooooooooo nasty, when she puts on secret deoderant it tells on her!!!!!
THE FULL ARK --- Noah is putting his animals onto the ark ,but its getting a bit full inside so the 2 cows sat next to 2 chickens aske...
WOMEN?S ORGASM --- How long does it take a woman to have a orgasm? Who cares!
STEVE IRWIN INTERVIEW --- When Steve Irwin was interviewed about his childhood tv programmes he replied Thunderbird was my favorite bu...
ALPHABET --- A kid wants to go on a school trip but he has to learn the 1st 3 letters of the alphabet 1st. He goes home and his mum is...
YOU TALKING TO ME? --- I was driving along the interstate when I decided to pull into the rest area for a bathroom break. The firs...
THANKSGIVING DAY --- One day lilttle johnny was at home he heard his parents arguing Little Johnny?s Mom said"Shut up u fucking whore"...
BAD WEATHER!!! --- Now the bad weather [snow] is hear there are 3 things you should carry in your car. 1.A blanket 2.A flask of hot...
VAMPIRE?S DRINK --- A vampire walks into a bar and orders a hot glass of water. The bartender retrieves his order and hands it to him,...
ELEPHANT FINGER --- A guy goes into the doctors office with an 18 inch asshole, the doctor says in amazement "What the hell happened?"...
SCOREBOARD --- Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn?t start, and it...
ROBIN --- What?s six inches long and smells like a robin? Batman?s dick.
A PUSSY IS LIKE... --- A pussy is like snow...It?s fun to play in, you never know when it?s gonna cum, and only some of it is clean en...
JAIL TIME --- Q;why are black people so fast. A;because the slow ones are in jail.
MIDGET IN A BAR --- A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you mot...
PAP SMEAR? --- Why do they call it a "pap smear"? It sounds better than "cunt scrape".
CREMATION --- Statistics show that 99% of Japanese people choose to be cremated when they die.It has become increasingly popular since...
THE REDNECKED WINNER --- there is a redneck sitting on a stool in a bar. then a koren man goes up behind him and karate chops him in t...

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